Thursday 25 October 2012

How To Be a Teenager


Hello!

Let me get things straight. This blog post isn't about an amazing brand new book which will solve your life forever called ' How To Be a Teenager'. However if they ever do write one you will all be the first to know. No, I thought I'd be the voice of teenageness today and share with you some of my experiences with teenage hood. If you are no longer a teen and want to erase that part of your memory or if you are reading this blissfully unaware of the 'HORROR' that is in store for you, then I apologise for my next few paragraphs.

Okay what so I talk about first...

Mmmm.

Oh I know - girls and appearance.

1. So, as you may not know, I attend an all-girls school. I really enjoy it at my school, we can all talk openly about ' girl stuff' without the fear that boys will hear us, my friends can take their headscarves off at prom and best of all we can learn better in class because girls are *cough*smarter than boys. But there are some negative things about being in an all-girls school. Firstly instead of real boys most of my friends fantasise over celebrities like Zayn, Harry, Louis, Liam and Niall. Trust me after the 17th story about how your friend "had an argument on Twitter with some girl who claimed to be Zayn Malik's wife", you want to shoot them.

Next, there is just the constant bitching. And I mean constant. Imagine a bunch of cut throat fashion journalists all gathered around a table talking about a girl wearing double denim with bright white sneakers and a back to front top with the label sticking out. Now times that by about five and multiply that by EVERYDAY LUNCHTIME!

2. You have to look good. I mean all the time. It’s not like when you're 7, 8,9,10 and you don't know that people even look at you let alone judge you. Now being a teenager you are constantly being judged. You have a huge dilemma every Saturday morning about what to wear. During the week at least you have the cover of you school uniform which you have to pretend to hate but secretly think it looks good on you. You find something you like, say a perfectly nice skirt and a red t-shirt; you throw on a pair of purple Converses. You’re unsure about the outfit, you know it’s not your best but you’re going to be late.Cue the parents. They don't even present the 'you’re not going out in that' argument. That would be too easy. Instead they merely suggest that you reconsider what you are wearing. Up to that point you were thinking about changing. Now that they've said that, you can't possible change. You stomp out the front door annoyed and flustered.

Your perfectly nice skirt. All the teens think it’s too long and that you look like a 'geek' but they don't tell you that. They just stare at you. And you just know. Then they stop talking when you walk past to make it really obvious that they were talking about you. Even if a teenager likes it they'll get jealous and not like it as it looks good on you. The older people think it’s to short or to 'figure hugging’, they'll mutter something about 'young people these days'.

You have to be either with fashion or so out of fashion that you're suddenly fashionable. Jeans and t-shirt people like me practically get shunned however someone wearing creepers, jeggings, denim shorts and a fluffy jacket are like totally in. God forbid if you don't like shopping, because then you might as well just be a BOY! Oh but wait, boys have to be fashionable too. Well then you might as well be a hamster. Because hamsters have absolutely no sense of style whatsoever. New Look, Primark, Topshop and H&M are all fashionable stores that you would normally consider shopping in. However have you been in River Island? Hollister? Superdry? Nike? Paul's Boutique? If you say no then do not fear. Me neither.

3.Then you have to be pretty. But not to pretty otherwise jealous girls will not like you. How can you possibly look your best if your face is covered in spots as you puberty has caused excess oils to be produced? If you’re like me spending 20 minutes on your face every day is a pain. You'd rather be catching up on that late piece of homework or like me read. Unfortunately I talk to you about the woes of make-up because I am anti-make up aka I like my own face. However I do know that you don't want to wear too much foundation because then you look like an orange and annoying people come up to you and rub it off with their jumper.

 Also is everyone getting excited about NaNoWriMo???? Well you should be. Starts next week. I know what I'm writing about. Do you?

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